Almost all acts like sitting, standing, walking, lying down and lifestyle are the examples of how we ascertain of our choices or decisions about western culture.
I would say that these are caused by some factors, like:
1. Teenagers need new things, and eastern culture like that of Indonesian doesn’t have these new things. Teenagers, especially women, for example, try to imitate the ways of how western people dress up.
2. Teenagers feel curbed by tradition that can’t give better life. Because of this feeling, they try to satisfy with provision. So much so that, they also try to look for newer things from their customs and tradition.
3. Teenager want to appear different to adopt to their custom a new lifestyle, and they feel joy and satisfactions from it; It makes them more creative and they believe that it’s suitable to be imitated.
Western culture will really affect the Indonesian culture if it’s enter freely without restriction from the government and because of the big influence of the western culture, ours will turn to be westernized culture. Consequently, a lot of problems will arise to each one of us because we will adopt two cultures instantaneously which measures one to another, and it will be possible that we enjoy the new lifestyle.
Of course it is better for us o looked the good lifestyle. It will lead us to good transformation. For example, now we know how to use spare time in a helpful manner. Like reading, learning and sport and our knowledge increase.
But the effects also quickly change life if we can’t decide on the good or the bad influence of it. It’s not suitable for us to do it: like embracing in public, dressing up unsuitable wears, heaving the bad condition, engaging in sex party at a young age and so on, which is against Indonesian custom. Then the biggest problem will take place if negative factor of western culture is done specially by teenagers. Our country is not anymore proper to be called a country for each nation has its strong traits. We can’t show who are in reality. We have to remember that developing country, of course has teenagers to receive the best, even the worst from it, what for you is love and what for them is work.
There are some acts that can be appreciated from our culture and can restrict the diffusion of western culture.
1. First, love our own culture and learn the other eastern culture, which could prevent us from external life like that western.
2. Secondly, choose which of western lifestyle you would like to imitate. It means that you must know which the good is and the bad. Thus you will know that not all things are suitable to imitated.
3. Thirdly, believe; believe that we can produce the qualified people who can share their talents to restructure our culture to others. They will believe that Indonesia has the beautiful culture too.
As you and I know, Indonesia is a nation of thousands of islands and hundred of cultures. It means that Indonesia has many teenagers and adults who reconstruct their culture to success. I could say every culture is unique. The Balinese culture for example, as we all know that Bali is a tourist resort in Indonesia for the beauty of its seas and mountains and so on. Besides, Balinese culture is famous in the world too. It was not possible for them to eternalize the gift of their forefathers like the Balinese masks for instance. They are not only for decorations or for the belief of the local people to keep them away from evil forces. But it is the fact that this custom is rooted in the past as integral part of the Balinese life. The Balinese have been successful to safeguard and preserve their magnificent culture and arts from generation to generation only by great effort and unwavering determination to be faithful to their culture.
Dear friends, young people of Indonesia, if we do the same like the Balinese; I believe that it is possible to preserve also our own culture. So, show you’re bright and be yourself.
Thank you very much.
By Petrus Hamonangan Sidabalok, Syntaxis IPS
You are great...still syntaxis but has a capacity to write an essay in English! Your writing's excellent and so inspiring for the teenagers. That's very true that many young indonesians like to imitate the western way of life. Unfortunately, they tend to follow the bad habits of western society not the good habits.
However, I want to give a feedback to your writing so that your skill would be improved.
First of all, the title "What Indonesian Teenagers should do to face the diffusion of western cultures which Indonesian Custom" is quite confusing. Usually "which" is used as a relative pronoun to the next sentence. So the placement of 'which" is not correct. Or probably you mean "with" and then it sounds good. I would suggest like this "What Indonesian Teenagers should do to face the diffusion of western cultures and Indonesian ways of life".
The second thing is the introduction too general. You should stick to your title. So in English essay the introduction is very important. You need to add "the teenagers" in the first paragraph.
The other thing is the logic of English essay. We have to be faithful with our topic. Like in your writing
'Almost all acts like sitting, standing, walking, lying down and lifestyle are the examples of how we ascertain of our choices or decisions about western culture.
I would say that these are caused by some factors, like:"
there is no relation between the two topics. So you need to relate by giving the explanation of the tendency of teenagers in imitating the western culture and then tell the factors.
Finally, it is better to use a simple expression and words and watch over the grammar. For example, try to make a short sentence. Like your sentence "Culture is a concern of people to carry out their needs, in order that their life will get better" it's quite complicated. I would like to put "Culture is a concern of people to carry out their needs in order to get a better life".
And the grammar "Teenager want to appear different to adopt to their custom a new lifestyle" is not correct. I think you can find it.
Ok,friend..all the best